months has passed since the last time we really had a time together..have our break together..go to the mall on sundays after shift..talk about a lot of things..i would make stars out of paper strips for him and he would make paper birds for me..haha!i miss the way we were before..even if it lasted for like a month only..those days may just be as ordinary as it is but for me..those were the happiest days of my life..so anyway..what's special with those days is that those were the times that i got the chance to know him and understand him and it made me like him even more..eventually..i fell in love with him..and unfortunately..i think he realized it..we've grown distant since then..i can't remember another instance when we got the chance to talk again..and i don't want to think that it's because he has grown afraid of me or something..i just miss that..i miss the friendship..the talks..i miss everything..and i know i can't do anything to make it go back the way it was..no matter how hard i try..

40 days has passed since she went away..surely..she's gonna be missed..actually she's badly missed already..she's one of the greatest person i've ever known..she's a person full of love,courage,understanding..though sometimes she easily gets agitated..but so what..she's one real good person..honestly..i have a lot of fears despite the way people see me..but because of her i've learned how to face them..hospital..the dead..(not to mention the other fear that i have)..we've been through a lot..i know i hadn't been that good to her..i admit i gave her a lot of heartaches when i was younger but though..I LOVE HER SO MUCH!maybe i didn't show it the way she wants it to be but that's the truth and i hope she knows it..it's true that you'll never know how important someone is until she's gone..but as for me..i know perfectly well how important she is..i just didn't know she'll be gone this early..i know all of us will come to an end..to take a rest..i just never thought she'll be leaving that early..all my life she was there for me..ever understanding the way i am..now..she's gone..i thought i was strong enough already but now that she has left already..i'm having second thoughts..when i was younger..i already got used in feeling pain..physically..emotionally..but this one's different..i thought i was that strong already..well..i guess i'm not..but i have to..she'll be damn sad if she sees me breaking down because of her..i know she's somewhere out there..watching..i wish i could tell her that she don't have to worry anymore..everything will be fine..

now..goodbye to a friend..an obedient daughter..caring sister..and most of all..a loving mother..I Love You Mommy..i will miss you..